


How many times did I cry because of you?

by 10sgreentea



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Butter, Hurt/Comfort, HyungKiRise, I wish I could smut tho, Jealousy, M/M, Sad Lim Changkyun | I.M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Weird, Wonkyun, angry Wonho, awkward written, tired changkyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:50:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12917082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10sgreentea/pseuds/10sgreentea
Summary: "Why" Changkyun repeated "why do you care so much about Kihyun huh? I didn’t do anything okay I am not at fault that he ignores you“ Changkyun yelled back, Wonho was taken aback by the younger members outburst, Changkyun was about to cry but this time he decided to hold the tears back the last thing he needed was looking small in front of Wonho.





	How many times did I cry because of you?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [butter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butter/gifts).



> Rip me again!  
> haha Idk typos are my thing so already sorry for that!  
> Wonkyun rise  
> Hyungki rise  
> idc if this things are even read by anyone but please recommend me some HyungKi  
> #desperateaf  
> this is for a friend who's birthday is today :))

Changkyun was currently sitting in the corner of their practice room and watched Hyungwon and Wonho playing around, the younger was sad knowing he would or could never be at the same spot as Hyungwon or any other member. Since their debut everyone treated him pretty normal and accepted him even though they were still a bit salty because of Gunhee, even Jooheon opened up to him and they became quiet close but one member didn’t seem to be okay with him and that was the one Changkyun desired the most. Wonho didn’t even give him a look  when they were at the dorm, talking to the younger seemed impossible for the latter beside from broadcasts he treated him like air.

It hurt Changkyun, knowing Wonho was probably one of the kindest people on this earth and getiting the cold shoulder from him meant he really was hated and the only thing Changkyun wanted was acceptance, he probably never would get.

"Ayee Hyungwon stop!" Wonho said interrupting Changkyuns sad thoughts and bringing him back to the jealousy and sadness in his gut.

Just imaging that Wonho treated him like that, like one of them, a part of the team was a dream but still a dream Changkyun would try to achieve, he already gave up on his hopeless crush because he didn’t want to hope for the actual impossible but maybe a friendship was possible.  
But for now he decided just to watch.

"Yah! Kyunnie" Kihyun came letting himself fall on the younger "What you doing here all alone with that gloomy face hugh?" He asked.

"I didint make a gloomy face" Changkyun denied and immediately put on a poker face.

"lol that doesnt work on me you know that. Now spill the tea or I don’t know… your feelings?" KIhyun eyed him with a understanding smile when Changykun refused to reply but couldn’t stop his eyes from peeking at Wonho.

"Hmm." Kihyun said and started leading Changkyuns head to his lap so the younger was placed in a lying position on Kihyuns lap and the latter started playing with his hair.

"Ahh my baby, I didn’t know. Wow u should have told me" he said.

Changkyun just tried not to look to pathetic. Now his hyung knew about his feelings for Wonho and this actually made him very much uncomfortable because everyone knew how bad Changkyun was treated by the muscular boy "but you know I would have never guessed you were a masochist" Kihyun laughed.

"WoW seriously" Changkyun said looking at his hyung.

"I mean its hard not to, look at this masterpiece of human being and don’t even get me started on his amazing personality, I mean he is so cute always thinking of all of you and making sure you are okay and feel good and happy even when he isn’t the happiest or had a bad day. He always takes on for the team how can I possibly not?"

"Even though eh treats you like this?" and now it was Kihyuns turn to sound desperate and when Changkyun looked at the older he saw how sad his eyes were but when he followed his friends gaze it was no other than Chae Hyungwon receiving Kihyuns gaze.

Changkyun was shocked.

"Omg what! I nerv-" Changkyun nearly screamed but was shut down by Kihyuns hand closing his mouth. "Don’t you even dare" the shorter threatened, Changkyun just nodded and was let free.

"Since when? Like how? And why do you sound so sad?" Changkyun blurted out. Seriously he always thought it was Hyunwoo hyung who Kihyun was in love with, like Hyungwon would have been his last option.

"Honeslty, it doesn’t matter, he isn’t interested anyways" The shorter said looking at his lap, what he didn’t consider was that Changkyun was lying there so he looked the younger directly in the eyes and then Changkyun understood as well, they were in the same boat. The persons they loved treated them like shit, well Changkyuns case was obvious but KIhyuns.

"I still need an explanation though" Changkyun said, he didn’t get it, weren’t KIhyun and Hyungwon close but the past days he realized they seemed cold to each other but he didn’t think much out of it they always fought… a lot.

"Ayy, I kinda ear dropped when he and Wonho were talking.. you know about guys and Wonho asked about me and Hyungwon literally said he had smash me but just because he would like to see me cry under him and he could imagine me as his personal toy and well that hurt,  
puppy you know... so I decided to enter the room and I waited for an explanation while Wonho sneaked out because he got scared.

Hyungwon literally asked me what I thought about letting him take me and long story short I slapped him and said he should fuck himself. So everything came to an end and now we here ignoring each other but I am defiantly not apologizing for what I did. " Kihyun said. Kihyun sounded very serious but sincerely hurt and Changkyun could swear he saw teary eyes.

Hyungwon had to make up a lot to gain Kihyuns forgiveness, the younger was sure of that.

"And what do u plan to do against the Wonho issue?" Kihyun asked desperate trying to change the topic.

"I’ll confront him today… after practice… in his room, I don’t know if its a good idea but I will try my best" Changkyun smiled at his huyng.

"And I might confess but I am not su-"

"Everyone! Break is over." Hyunwoo cut of Changkyun announcing that the practice will continue.

Kihyun and he went to their spots and they started.

* * *

 

When practice was finally over everyone got ready. Kihyun and Minhyuk had made plans so the latter came short before the van was leaving  and hugged Changkyun wishing him good luck. No-one seemed to mind or mind beside from Wonho who just shoot him a judging glare the he finally took his seat beside Shownu.

When they arrived at the dorm everyone took a shower. Changkyun decided to go the last because he wanted to think this conversation through.

When his turn came he started to get nervous, he was about to face his hyung and he was ready to get hurt but he still was hoping for a happy ending and maybe some acceptance from the latter.

After Changkyun was done showering and put on his clothes he went to Wonhos shared bedroom with Hyungwon and Shownu. He probably stood there for 5 minutes before he finally could bring himself to knock on the door and enter.  
No-one was there beside Wonho.

Changkyun took this as a sign from the universe that everything will be fine and he will finally make up with him. Wonho looked at the youngest member waiting for an explanation why the younger was in his room disturbing him.

"H-Hyung can we talk?" Changkyun asked and Wonho frowned but nodded. he currently was lying on his bed but stood up and sat on it so he could face Changykun properly.

Changkyun just set down on the opposite site of Wonho.

"Ehm.. I know this might be weird but hyung seriously I want to apologize for everything.

I am really sorry" Changkyun said shuffeling around not able to stay still.  
Changkyun waited for Wonhos reply but the boy didn’t seem to plan to answer so the younger decided to continue "I know you are angry because I came later in and that I was chosen didn’t really help me make you guys believe I wasn’t promised anything but I seriously wasn’t and I am sorry for hurting you but I just wanna be friends with you" Changkyun said becoming lower and lower by every word, he could feel Wonhos intimidating gaze on him.

Changykun looked up when he heard his hyung snort.

"Why do you think that the reason is because of No.Mercy? I just don’t want to be in around you and call myself your friend" that hurt and Changkyungs eyes got watery he kinda thought Wonho was mad about the past not that he actually disliked the younger because of what ever reason. He just looked on the ground and felt miserable. After a while when he calmed down he nodded and stood up

"Im sorry" Changkyun said before he left, missing Wonhos sad gaze on him.  
Changkyun cried himself to sleep the following days after his conversation with Wonho but tried to nothing had happened the next day.

All the members were aware of Changykuns puffy eyes and lately forced good mood but when they asked him, he cracked a smile and made sure to convince them that he was okay. The only one who knew about his problem was Kihyun who decided to ignore Wonho out of loyalty to his cute heart broken puppy. To Changkyun he said they were bonded because of their two broken hearts. Changkyun tried to persuade Kihyun not to do it because he was sure Wonho would hate him more for it in the end he knew Kihuyn the longest out of the members.

His point was proven right when one day Wonho took him by his wirst and forced him to follow him to a nearby recording studio.

"What did you do? What did you tell Kihyun for him to ignore me?" Wonho looked furious. It hurt how much Wonho cared about KIhyun but didn’t care a bot about Changkyun, wasn’t he a member of their group too?

He was about to explain himself when Wonho cut him of "seriously what did I do to you! You make everything worse can’t you just vanish forever! Than I wouldn’t be this confused and my friend would still talk to me. You make me do bad things you are the worst" Wonho talked himself into it and by the end he was screaming Changkyun was shocked but he couldn’t stop the jealousy from taking over, why was Wonho caring so much about Kihyun but so less about him? Was Wonho maybe feeling what Changkyun felt for him for Kihyun? Why was it his fault that Kihyun gave him the cold shoulder? In fact it was but he didn’t force the older Why? why? why?

"What?" Wonho asked confused Changkyun had thought out loud.

"Why" Changkyun repeated "why do you care so much about Kihyun huh? I didn’t do anything okay I am not at fault that he ignores you“ Changkyun yelled back, Wonho was taken aback by the younger members outburst, Changkyun was about to cry but this time he decided to hold the tears back the last thing he needed was looking small in front of Wonho.

"I have enough of this I don’t even know what I did to make you hate me. Im tired Wonho okay? Im fine with you disliking me but at least let me be and stop hurting my feelings" Changkyun said before leaving when he run out not able to stop his tears anymore but he was pulled back into a hug and by now he was a sobbing mess, he always dreamt of being in Wonhos arms but right now he wasn’t sure if he really wanted this so he tried to free himself. Of course Wonho was stronger.

"Wonho please." Changkyun whined.  
"I-I have.. to tell you somethings I guess" Wonho said completely ignoring Changkyuns request.

"I dont hate you at all so please don’t think that. When we first met in No.Mercy I, yes was supposed, to hate you but I just couldn’t bring myself to that point to treat you badly so I chose ignoring you would be a better idea but it wasn’t, while the others slowly started to open up to you, I just kept ignoring your presence at all cost but my eyes weirdly followed you everywhere and soon I had those weird feelings and than you were being all cuddly with KIhyun and I felt like I already lost you, where in the first place you never where mine. You came to me to talk and instead of using this opportunity to make everything up to you I threw those harsh words at you but seeing you so close to Kihyun and that he hugged you and whispered something in your ear made me mad. He was everything I wanted to be for you. I am sorry I am probably making you feel uncomfortable but I just can’t keep this in anymore, I want to be near you I want to hug you, smell you… hahah I am so pathetic" Wonho finally ended letting go of Changkyun and just hiding his face behind his two palms, the latter was crying.

Changkyun had to be honest, he was confused.

Wasn’t Wonho supossed to be in love with Kihyun?

"But I thought you liked Kihyun?" Changkyun couldn’t stop himself from asking looking probably really dumb right now. Wonho looked at him in disbelief "oh my god are you kidding me? I just confessed to you I don’t care about that midget" Wonho nearly whined, he couldn’t believe his sweet angle, how could he be asking this after his long confession.

"I was pissed because everyone treated me normally beside Kihyun so I thought there truly were something between you and I was defiantly not gonna ask satan himself but I guess my start was wrong from the beginning" Wonho cracked a smile and an awkward silence was spread in the room when both didn’t say anything.

After a while Wonho couldn’t stop himself from asking "so?" he said and looked at the younger hopefully "do I get an answer.. I mean don’t stress yourself you don’t have to answer right now" .

"I- I honeslty don’t know Wonho" Changkyun replied and the hope in Wonhos eyes slowly died 'I mean I don’t know how to react " Changkyun continued" I liked you a lot when we debuted and when you were treating me like nothing I lost hope and decided to try to be just your friend but you didn’t want to and I don’t kno- " Changkyun was stopped by Wonhos hand" oh okay I got it I guess I am already to late" the older said cracking a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and Changkyun was about to scream could this boy at least listen once to him

"NO!" He said and startled Wonho with that "let me finish. I honestly don’t know what to do, cry, scream, laugh or kiss you. I have been waiting for this day since… never because I had no hope but that makes it even more amazing " Changkyun laughed.

"I love you Shin Hoseok“ he said hugging the latter.

"I love you too Im Changkyun" Wonho replied when they slightly parted to look at each other.

The next moment Changkyun felt plump and soft lips against his, at first he didn’t know how to react because even though it wasn’t his first kiss it was his first with Wonho, the man he loved. So it was something special.

**Author's Note:**

> U did it! I am proud!  
> :) hopefully you did like it but idk  
> is this fit considered a shitfic? honestly don't know  
> anyways thanks for reading! :)))


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